Daydreamer ♥

IVAN ROSE PADILLA BALANO ♥ Philippines, South East Asia
Seventeen. Dreamer since 1996.
Hopeless romantic. Fairytales. Knights in shining armors.
Food. Pink. Pastel. Photography.
Still hasn't lived life to the fullest yet but is willing to.

I feel butterflies. ♥♥


But to be honest though, I am really crying right now because I know the Gilas team are sad. They must be so pressured and disappointed of themselves right now becuase they failed to bring the cou try to the next round of the World Cup. :(

When the camera focused on Pingris earlier during the last minute of the ball game, my heart stopped. It sympathized to the man on the screen. I’ve been a fan of him since forever and seeing him emotional makes me emotional as well. I know they worked so damn hard to get here and so losing is really heartbreaking. :”“”(

I’m so sorry for ranting. I’m just so emotional. I feel so proud and sad and happy and honored and just basically emotional really.

Pilipinas vs Puerto Rico, L-W, 73-77

3rd of September. Voice is hoarse. It’s cold. And Gilas lost.

Damn. I thought for sure we had this one. The first quarter was so good. We even had a 17-0 run then. Scoring hoops was so easy but boy did Puerto Rico came up strong in the second…

But even then, I held on. I was still sure that we are going to end this night with a big ass come back from the three previous losses.

But we didn’t.

Win or lose, I still have so much love and respect for those men out there. I understand them and probably also how they feel because I have been a fan of Philippine basketball since I was a little girl. I know how hard it is. Leaving their families, friends, and the shelter and familiarity of their country was hard enough let alone having to train day in and day out for the World Cup. You can see it on the news and on their individual accounts on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram that they did work and train hard. This is why it hurts me to read negative comments online. I just want to rub it in their jugmental faces that being a basketball player goes beyond dribbling balls and running to and fro the court. It requires discipline, hard work, monitored training, strategy and teamwork. It’s hard. I’m not even a basketball player myself but I can see that it’s hard. So those who says that the Gilas team, or any basketball player in the world for this matter, are a bunch of losers can go fuck off.

Magaling lang daw kasi ang Gilas sa simula. This could not be more wrong. I am mad but not because we lost and most definitely not because our chance to advance to the next round of the World Cup had just vanished to thin air. I am mad because Gilas received and probably are still receiving so much hate right now because of that loss against the Puerto Ricans. Nanggaling pa talaga ang mga insulto sa mga taong nanonood lang kasi World Cup na. They weren’t even there all the way. They didn’t even witness the struggle and the journey Gilas experiences on the road to the World Cup. Nakakainis lang. Nakakainis kasi wala silang alam. It’s so easy for them to hate and judge kasi they never were true fans. Had Gilas won tonight, for sure those bitches will congratulate them, post praises on social media, and celebrate wih the rest of the Filipinos. Eh kaso talo. Kaya ang pagiging “fan”, wala na. Peste lang.

I don’t blame our National Team for this loss. Heck, I don’t even blame Barea and the rest of the Puerto Rican team for beating us tonight because no one it to be blamed. That is just how basketball works. It’s a basic principle in logic called Excluded Middle. There can only be this and then that. There will never be something in the middle. Or in case of basketball, there can only be a winner and a loser. The game cannot end up with a tie.

I am just so happy that after 36 years, we finally made it back to the FIBA World Cup and for me, that is way beyond enough to make us proud as Filipinos.

FIBA World Cup 2014 (Argentina vs Pilipinas, W-L)

For a teenage girl, being heartbroken at 1am is somehow a bit normal. But for a teenage girl who is a basketball fan, having your heart broken at this time is pretty much the definition of rare.

11:30pm, Philippine time, the battle between Argentina and Pilipinas began in Seville, Spain at the 2014 FIBA World Cup. Family and friends, and supporters and die-hard fans went all out wearing face paints and bringing with them not only their team’s flags and placards but also their heartfelt devotion and faith.

The referee whistled, signaling the start of the game and the players ran to and fro the court aiming to contribute to their team’s scoring. As the clocked ticked, the game intensed. Shots were made, fouls were called, and sweat dripped on the players game faces.

As a fan, you don’t only share the tension and momentum with your idols on the court but also their dream that after forty-eight minutes of good and honest basketball, you’d be blessed with a win. But along with every dream or goal everyone have had, it wasn’t that easy to achieve that.

The Argentina players weren’t just tall. They were giants compared to our own. But even so, we managed to exhaust them all making them worn out, challenged, and possibly worried that we may actually be able to win against a tall and shooter team like them. Witnessing the game, winning was almost assured.

As the Gilas players alternately took a chance in the bucket, the crowd, obviously ecstatic and proud, roared. Making their presence known to the obviously-home-advantaged Argentinians. And boy was that a beautiful sight. Even in those times when the Gilas players failed to make a basket, it was obvious that the fans were enjoying themselves. Not really bothered that the team might lose but were just plain proud and honored because after 36 years, Philippines finally managed to appear again on the FIBA World Cup. And that is one very honorable fact.

In every game, there has to be only one winner and a loser. And Marc’s heart and will, Blatche’s jumpers, Jason’s defense, Gabe’s dunks, LA’s energy and drive, Ranidel’s twos and Jimmy’s threes were apparently not enough to hand us the win but were surely enough to bring us at the top with pride and utmost respect. Great does not even begin to describe how well they did on the court. They weren’t the same PBA players we used to see on Araneta Coliseum or Cuneta Astrodome. They became a whole new versions of themselves - better, bolder, stronger.

Seeing them all huddled up in a group, right after their loss was made known, while talking to themselfes and saying their thanks to the Lord was priceless. Truly, win or lose, Filipinos never forget to pray. United they stood in their blue jerseys holding in each others arms those of their teammates as if to silently say that they got each other’s backs. That is what I admire most about these men - the camaraderie and heart. Because even though they may have come from different teams in the national league, out there, representing the country, and outside the court, they are friends.

Kudos to the Gilas team!! It’s a very heartbreaking loss indeed because it wasn’t supposed to be one but nonetheless, we have yet again proven our worth in the world. You showed them why small is terrible, why height is not always might. We may have lost now but we still have two more to go so don’t give up just yet. God has plans.

Chest pains at 2am :”(

It’s past two am and I am having chest pains. I’ve been having these for years now. It doesn’t stay long. It’s on and off, really. But when it does happen, it’s so painful that I think I could no longer breathe.

I want this to end but of all the checkups I have had, never once did the doctor mention me having cardio problems. This confuses me. I know something’s wrong and I am afraid that it’s something serious.


More good vibes here

So appropriate.


It’s 8:35pm. I have school tomorrow and I reaaaally have to focus but somehow I don’t really care because I’d rather write about something as awesome as last night than worrry right now.


Last night was definitely one for the books. A sister of a dear friend celebrated her birthday. My friends and I were invited to her pool party and were provided with a hotel room all to ourselves. The afternoon dragged, the night went by, we dipped in the pool, and eventually went back to the hotel room. We played cards, watched television (which by far has the poorest reception I’ve ever experienced in my life), and ate and ate and ate.. Just your regular overnight as per usual really. But as the night peaked and approached the wee hours of morning, the mediocre jokes, hysterical laughs, and regular chitchats grew into more serious, emotional, and no-shitting deep ones.

As young as we are, I realized, my friends and I don’t only share the same everyday home-to-school-to-self issues but we also share the same mindset, same understanding. As our conversations grew, my fascination for them (and maybe for all teenagers out there, too) grew as well.

I learned that we are not immature. Not at all. We each face our own individual problems but each of them somehow similar and relatable to that of the next person’s. And we manage to get by. We still manage to get by amidst of all the judgments and underestimations that come our way implying that we cannot and are not capable to face real-world problems just because we lack knowledge and are “still inexperienced” in life.

We have more to learn than we can handle, they say. And so sometimes when we become afraid of the what-ifs, we let the world control us believing in their promise that if we’ll just follow then we’ll be okay. But we never really settle for okay, do we? We always wanted to be more. To ace our exams, make our parents proud, out-do ourselves.. “Just okay” was never our motto and we’d rather do it ourselves that fixate on what-might-have-beens.

For a while in my life, I thought I had it worse than the others. Knowing my friends’ strengths, wit, and drive in life, and experiencing for my self their daily sassiness and fighting spirit made me think that way. But life really do work in wonders because in the wee hours of August 25, when probably everyone else in the world were either sleeping or busy with their own lives, I witnessed my friends’ vulnerability, and my own, and I knew right then and there that we are one and the same in being imperfect and what makes that the complete opposite of uncomforting is that we are aware of it and never did we really try to hide it.

Last night enlightened me. I understood my friends, and most specially my self, more. It made me think that maybe we are, indeed, a group of fucked-up teens who made and still makes fucked-up decisions just as how the world imagine how teenagers would be but who cares, right? We’re teenagers and we’ll never be as young as we are now. We may be hormonal, impulsive, and zoned out at times but we got enough room for mistakes at present and maybe for a few more in the future. We believe that everything will fall into place. That all mistakes and decisions we made and will still make will lead us to the future we greatly dream of for ourselves and for our families. And so we’re not afraid anymore.


It’s 9:23pm and although I may have said that I don’t care about school fifty-something minutes ago, I do. I will always care about school. You should, too.

I’m acting like its weekend already when in fact its only 12:49am of Wednesday.


Sweet Jesus
Staph playing with my feels
R.I.P my fellow Michael girls. See you all in hell.

this is from a youtube video but i edited it in a audio version

leahblahblah Ermehged you will die after hearing this