(Inspired by the 2007 movie P.S. I Love You – January 18, 2014)
What is the one thing that amazes you? Takes your breath away? Makes you gasp just thinking about it? That one thing that makes your heart flutter, skip a beat? And when you think about it, you get all too excited that you start to jump around or smile like a massive idiot even with people around? Mine? Future – my future.
Future is so uncertain, it’s scary. Although it makes you want to breathe properly, catch your breath, and calm down whenever you think about it and it gets too far, there’s no denying that it gives you this certain joy and energy – this optimism. This thought that whatever crap it is you’re doing, you’re eventually going to lead to something great. It may not be tomorrow already but someday…
When I am ready, I will to go to Ireland. Explore its vast sea of pure beauty. Grab a mug of beer in a town pub, sing Irish songs along with Irish people and have a fun time, meet an amazing guy, kiss him under the stars, fall in love, make wild and crazy choices, maybe buy a Vespa and drive around town, get lost somewhere and learn to find my way back. Just, have fun with my life – not ever regretting all the wrong and right decisions I’ve managed to make through the years but learning from them instead. Be able to realize that every decision is a step closer to my future.
Whatever that is, I’m not sure. No one could probably tell me what it’ll be like and that’s the thing about the future. You can guess all you want but the truth is, you’ll never get it right – not exactly, anyway. There will always be things – little or big – that will surprise you, amaze you, and will get you to say, “Damn, I didn’t see that one coming. But what the hell, I’m glad it did”.
I am so excited for all these things. Alone or not, I will make this happen. But I am young. I’ve got my youth to spare. Yes, future is indeed exciting but living only for it makes you miss out on all the good things life is offering at the moment. What matter now is exactly just that – now. Future awaits but until then, I’m learning to be satisfied with just living in the moment.